at the mercy of technology

Last Friday we filmed the final scene of episode 5 (not the final scene to be filmed, but the final one the audience will see). I was not in a good place when filming began and I hope I didn't take it out on anybody.

The computer started acting up on Thursday. Thankfully, not the editing computer. But my desktop plays a very vital role in all of this (including, but not limited to storing my 200 GB of music). I had just enough time to transfer the pictures and the scripts off the computer before it completely crashed.

There's few things that will sour my day so instantly as the resolute feeling of powerlessness. There was nothing I could do. The computer was gone. I called Dell, told them the error code I was receiving, and the guy on the other end said, "oh yeah, that's a hard drive that's dying. And it looks like your warranty ran out back in 2010, so we won't be able to replace it for you, but you can buy one from us!"

This was the second hard drive Dell had sent me in the four years that I've been paying off my computer. I'm still paying it off and the thing's already failing. "No thanks, Dell. I'll shop around." It's so wildly frustrating -- actually, there's a word for "wildly frustrating" and it's INFURIATING. I tried to not bring that energy to the set, but I'm sure everyone could feel it.

I sent out a text to all my computer-savvy friends and Loren swung in to the rescue and recommended a good hard drive and hard drive dock, that I might save some of my files. I ordered it that night and come Monday, I was back up and running. In the grand scheme of the things, was it a big deal? No.

But I am powerless without electricity. I am at the mercy of technology. If anything refuses to work, or decides to crap out on me, what can I do? My computer has become an extension of me. Everything I'm doing and everything I'm trying to relies completely on it. As grateful as I am for its existence, I kind of resent it.